The Strongest Common Denominator?

What is the strongest common denominator between the primary mission of The Hope of Survivors and our Pastors’ Wives Division?

Simply put, that alarming commonality is pornography.

The many pastors and other church leaders who use pornography are ticking time bombs in ministry. They have blasted through and broken down the walls of personal moral integrity, distorting themselves into predators-in-waiting for the vulnerable within God’s flock.

And whether or not they have yet preyed directly on congregants or colleagues, the inevitably increasing narcissism of porn-using pastors wreaks spiritual and emotional havoc within their own families. An astounding correlation of psychological damage exists between the wives of porn-using men and wives experiencing other forms of spousal abuse.

Yet the greatest and completely unnecessary tragedy in all of this lies in the fact that the Church’s response, broadly speaking, to porn use by pastors can at most, be described as “weak sauce.”

The stark reality is that pornography and sexual immorality of every sort is increasing within the Church. It is not going away. It will not diminish unless we increase our awareness and reverse course to a Biblically sound response.

What do we find in how God created us?

Foundationally, we find human gratification inextricably tied to God’s gracious gift of intimacy:

• From the first moments of life, the gratifications of suckling and satiation are created to be tied to the closeness of our mother’s bosom.
• From the first weeks of life, the gratifications of collective worship are created to be tied to the closeness of our fellow Christians.
• From the first years of life, the gratifications of the palate and fulness of food are created to be tied to the closeness of family and friends.
• From our wedding night onward, the gratifications of sexuality are created to be tied to the closeness and lifelong bond with our spouse.

Every one of these intimacy-gratification connections continues to be attacked by our adversary. Satan has set about to reverse, to deconstruct, to turn upside down, to utterly destroy these God-given gifts, to leave us increasingly spiritually and emotionally isolated and drifting—to separate us from Almighty God!

What do we find in God’s Word?

Jesus’ perspective on porn usage proclaims unequivocally:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-29, NASB)

How can a salvation-rejecting, adulterous individual possibly be fit for pastoral ministry?

Nevertheless, many have endorsed the idea of the “successfully treated” porn-using pastor returning to, or remaining in, pastoral ministry.

Such a recommendation opposes everything that The Hope of Survivors represents!

Why?

At a minimum, porn-using pastors have proven their vulnerability to continuous sexual infidelity.

Further, we must fully recognize just how dramatically such pastors fail the Biblical (literal Greek) “one-woman man” qualification for ministry!

What is the porn user typically doing?

As just one example, a pastor confessed to having viewed approximately 10,000 pornographic images in a two-year period—while working full-time at a secular job and lay-pastoring a small church! Only at the end of this period did he even begin to contemplate the “possibility” that he “might” be addicted to porn.

Beyond its adulterous voyeurism—porn normalizes the demeaning of, and violence against, women; porn frequently contains homosexuality, and it persistently leans toward the promotion of pedophilia.

Habitual use of porn—as is true of addiction generally—typically escalates over time, often into interpersonal infidelity and/or predation.

One can hardly overstate the severity of the spiritual and psychological searing, damage, and distortions resulting from habitual use of porn. The porn user wrests to oneself one’s own selfish gratification, entirely apart from God’s intent of spousal intimacy. The porn user’s capacity for empathy markedly diminishes, as the user becomes conditioned to regard others engagingly only according to their perceived usefulness, assigning little to no innate respect for the dignity and the inherent worth of other people.

Yet due to its secretiveness, porn users within the Church easily, effectively, and commonly pretend repentance; while instead, becoming ever more furtive in continuing their ongoing porn usage. While the correlative domestic abuses will likely persist, often even the porn user’s wife will not be aware or certain that the actual porn usage has continued. Think Anna Duggar.

Will removing porn-using pastors leave the Church with too few pastors?

Removing all pastors discovered to be using porn will very likely have a “Gideon’s army” effect on pastoral numbers. However, God’s Word proves to us that a mere 300 vigilant soldiers can be a greater asset to His people and to His purposes, than a 32,000-man army that includes soldiers who are more careless or less faith filled. (Judges 7:1-25.)

Terminating such pastors will certainly leave the Church with fewer hirelings, but with no fewer faithful shepherds! In fact, over time, publicly imposing this Biblical standard could provide a helpful and positive deterrent against pornography use for youth and young adults interested in serving in pastoral ministry.

If the Church will take this bold leap of faith, our Savior will assuredly bless His bride!